We miss him too...

Hello Erin,
Mike and I stop by here at times. We both miss your Dad very much. He taught us both so much about love and family and he is with us every day. We have recently taken in 2 foster boys ...ages 15 & 17 and it was one of those times that Mike really wanted to talk to Rick about what we were doing. But we know he would be proud. The tribute at the Window World Reunion was wonderful. To hear Rick's voice was a blessing. I won't lie, it was hard and we all cried, but it reminded us how incredible Rick was. The trips just aren't the same without your Mom and Dad. We will be in Roanoke in a few weeks and I want to see your Mom. I think about her all the time. I know I am not good at writing, but I wanted to let you know that we love and miss your Dad and he will never be forgotten. If you want to email me, my email is windowworldhunt@bellsouth.net
Take Care,
Melissa Edwards

WE ALL ALWAYS READ

DANA & I WISH YOU COULD HAVE ALL BEEN AT THE WINDOW WORLD FAMILY REUNION THIS PAST WEEK. THE TRIBUTE WAS WONDERFUL! WE WERE GIVEN TIME TO REMEMBER & REFLECT. NOT A PERSON WAS LEFT UNTOUCHED BY THE VIDEO PRESENTED. PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU ALL ARE THOUGHT OF EACH DAY BY THE WINDOW WORLD FAMILY MEMBERS. I HAVE NEVER HEARD SUCH A TRIBUTE OF SILENCE BY SUCH A WONDERFUL GROUP OF PEOPLE FOR A PERSON THEY ALL STILL LOVE AND THINK OF AND PRAYER FOR.
PLEASE KNOW THAT YOUR FAMILY IS STILL IN OUR THOUGHTS & PRAYERS.
SHARON & DANA DEEM

High School.....

Here's a picture of Dad during his high school years. And yes, they've formed a pyramid- how cool is that. Dad is on the bottom left of the pyramid. My Aunt Jackie, Dad's sister is on the top right. (Zane- can you find yourself!?) Hehe!

I know Dad had such a great time with his Memphis buddies; I've heard so many fun stories. A couple of years ago, Dad's high school gang got to meet up in Memphis and have a mini-reunion, which I heard was wonderful. I'm so glad he got to do that before he passed!



Here's another one...Dad is on the far right! Thank God for good times in Memphis! =)

Thanks...

Thank you so much Sherry and Zane for commenting and posting, you don't know how much I appreciate it! Life has been so different without Dad...not worse, just different. There have been so many times these last few months where I've gone, picked up my phone, and tried to call him. For example, my husband and I live in the Blacksburg, VA area and as all of you know, a terrible tragedy occured this past April 16th at VA Tech. Well, that was only about a month after Dad had passed away and you know, I actually picked up the phone and went to dial him. I wanted to tell him all about it. I wanted to let him know I was ok. I wanted to talk about everything that had happened and see what part of the country he was in then and how he was doing. But it was the weirdest feeling to remember at that moment that I couldn't talk to him, that I couldn't hear his voice. You know something else...it was at that moment that I talked to him anyway. I told him I was ok and I told him about everything that happened. AND I knew for a fact that he was OK, that he was safe, not here on this earth, but in a much better place. A place without the violence that happened on April 16, a place without wars overseas, a place filled with joy! Dad was ok and he knew that I was too. Praise God for that!!

The picture above is from this past Christmas. The family: Matthew, Tricia, Mom, Dad, and myself had gone to downtown Roanoke for our family's annual Christmas trip to the market. This pic was taken at the Hotel Roanoke after we had viewed the Christmas tree display that the city puts on every year. This was a couple of weeks before the Collins family came to a realization about Dad and his health. I thank God for these memories, the happiness my family has shared together and the love that we have. HE is so good!!

Rehearsal Dinner Memory

This is a picture during one of my favorite memories of Rick :) This is at Rex and Erin's rehearsal dinner and he is struggling to get through his toast without crying. Sipping on his coffee, which was refilled many times, was the only way he made it through :)

It is so obvious of what a proud father he was that night! I love how tender he always was with Erin and all her girlfriends! :)

I know no one checks this but...

here it goes. This needs to remain a way of mourning and gaining a calm after losing Dad.

Here's a picture of Mom and Dad at my wedding. They both looked so great and they had such a wonderful time! Oh how special that day was!!

Here's Dad and I on my wedding day, this past July 22, 2006. Obviously we are both crying (yes, we've both always been totally sappy- a trait I get from him!). I can remember back to times when the family would be watching TV and one of our favorite movies would come on...Father of the Bride. Being the "saps" that we are, Dad and I would always cry during the movie when Steve Martin walks his daughter down the aisle; the thought of this moment would always move Dad and I both to tears. Well, the day came when I was to marry the man of my dreams, and yes, Dad and I got to have our moment where he would walk me down the aisle, arm in arm, teary eyed, and he would give me away.

I just want you guys to know what a wonderful man Rick really was. I feel very blessed that I got to know him. I looked forward to Monday mornings when he came in the office, he was ALWAYS happy and smiling and would come to my office and have a seat and talk some work stuff but mostly how I was, what was going on in my life and we shared many many conversations about life and when I was down he knew exactly what to say to pick me up. You see I have a family member that made some bad choices over the past few years and I talked to Rick about it alot because I felt he really cared about me and what I was going through. He would always tell me to keep praying and have faith and he would do the same for me and I believe he did. He would call me from the road and say " I just called to check in and see if you need anything" and he always asked me about my family. Not many people would do that. I am happy to say things have gotten a lot better at home, we just take one day at a time. Anyway the point I'm trying to make is Rick always lifted me up and was a very dear friend and I will cherish that forever. I know Rick love his family so very much, and I also know how much you miss him. I do too! I just recently lost my father to Liver cancer and I miss him more everyday and some days I think I can't make it without him but it is my strength from God that helps me get by. We have to believe each day will get better. Just hold tight to your family and love each other more than ever. My love and prayers to all. Jan Kilby

Surprise...

This picture is taken at Mom and Dad's surprise 25th Wedding Anniversary party a few years ago. The rest of the family had been working on the party for some time and it was so great to see it play out.

Funny story though: we told Mom and Dad that we were taking them out to eat and that the restaurant was a surprise, so I had the great idea to blindfold them. So we blindfolded them, and not only that, I then proceeded to drive them (and the rest of the family) around the outskirts of Salem, up, down and around hills all with the purpose of confusing them so they wouldn't know we were headed toward the church. Well, not 5 or so minutes into the journey to the "restaurant", they both were complaining of needing to throw up from feeling nauseous! Neither one actually got sick, but boy were they surprised to see about 40 of their family and friends waiting for them in the fellowship hall at the church!! It was such a great day and one that we'll never forget!

Memories Of Rick

The thing i will never forget about Rick, is how much fun i had driving with him somewhere.
If you got in a car with Rick going somewhere, you were almost gauranteed to get lost. we used to laugh about this all the time. We got lost together in every state we drove in. we even got lost in Wilkesboro which was pretty hard to do. Then one day i realized i had become just like him and I got us lost in San diego and it was his turn now to give me a hard time, we laughed about that too. My family and I will never forget Rick, as he was one of the most genuine human beings I have ever met in my life. He loved what he did and he loved everyone at Window World. I loved him like a brother and will never forget him. My 4 year old son remembers him and when I told him the other day that I was saying good bye to Rick because he was going to be with God, he said: Oh Man, that means I will never see him again. Rick , thank you for everything you have done for me and my family. Your brother Ken

Rick was a wonderful man who will be truly missed. Any time any body would ask Rick how he was doing he would always say --I'm better than I deserve. I always thought that was a response from a man who truly knew how blessed he was. We were extremely lucky to have Rick as a member of the Window World family. He loved you guys dearly and was extremely proud of all of you! Love to you all, Sue Anne Johnston

Carol and Family,
Walter and I will never forget the Collins family. Our prayers are that you will always remain close and stay grounded in your faith. Our love to each of you.
Walter and Margie

Sharing Memories.

First of all I wanted to Thank all of you who came to Rick's viewing and funeral. The outpouring of love for the family will never be forgotten. I also wanted to open this blog up to postings from Rick's family & friends. It is easy to do and will be a great way to remember the BIG MAN that Rick was. It will undoubtedly help the family in this difficult time and will serve as a way to memorialize all Rick has meant to so many of us. You can even include pictures if you would like! To post follow these simple steps (they are also posted on the menu to the right):

Click HERE and login.

• Click NEW BLOGGER to sign in.
• user: friendsofrickc
• password: rickcollins

Please share your stories of Rick.

~Rex (Rick's fairly recent son-in-law)

A blessing...

Dad passed away at 1:45 pm today and went to be with his Lord! This is such a blessing, as life for him on earth was becoming more and more difficult.

Dad's breathing had been so labored for a few days and especially today, yet his last breath was so peaceful. We remind ourselves often that he is in a MUCH better place now and that is what he wanted! What a blessing!!!

Arrangements have already been planned and are as follows:

~The viewing will be this Monday, the 5th of March at Oakey's Funeral Home in Salem, VA from 2-4:00 pm and from 6-8:00 pm.

~The funeral will be Tuesday, the 6th of March at Bethel Baptist Church in Salem at 2:00 pm.

Thank you all for your continued prayers and encouragement through all of this! We've been praying for a peaceful death, and that's what Dad had- praise God!

If you have any questions, comment on here and I'll respond. Also, my email address is erin.card3@gmail.com if you want to email me.

I can speak for my family when I say that we would love to see as many friends and family members of Dad's at the services. We need to celebrate a wonderful life of a wonderful man of God!!

Need a laugh...

As I sit here looking though pictures from my wedding this past July, I sob. I am so blessed that Dad got to be a part of such a special day in mine and Rex's life. I am so moved seeing the happiness that filled that weekend and it proved to be exactly what we wanted...so much fun!! After crying for long enough, I thought of a moment that was captured that makes me smile and giggle.



We had a hayride from the ceremony to the reception. This is Mom and Dad getting off the back of the hayride...only Dad had a hard time using the hay bale as a step! =) He is a big guy, huh!!


Another funny picture...

Here's another picture that I found on Dad's computer that makes me smile! You Window World folks might have been on this excursion with my parents!! =)

Amazed...

I am constantly amazed at how my dad has touched people. Our family has always known how important he was to us, and yeah, we knew he was important to many others, but we are absolutely floored at the impact my father has had in so many lives.

Right around the time that Dad was diagnosed, he began talking about how he'd really been thinking and that he knew he wanted a ministry, maybe a new ministry. We all discussed this topic with him on multiple occasions around this time, and were a bit puzzled at his wishes. Dad began telling us of his desires to possibly start a ministry of visiting shut-ins (church members who for whatever reason weren't able to get out much or physically come to church). He knew there had been this visitation ministry at Bethel (where Mom and Dad attend) for many, many years, but Dad seemed to be thinking he wanted to make this ministry more involved, spend more time with more people in their homes. We all thought this was a great idea. Thinking back, Dad knew this brain tumor would change his life (and, yes, probably end his life), but he was hoping to use his time off work, during treatment, to visit with shut-ins and others...as part of his ministry. =)

Well, obviously, Dad didn't get that chance, and that's OK. It's OK because Dad has had a ministry his whole life! I know that Dad has introduced many people to Jesus and because of that, Dad will see those people, along with all others that are saved again soon! Dad has been a great husband to Carol, a great son to Pat and Jack, a great brother to Jackie, a great father to Kim, Tricia, Erin and Matt, a great grandfather to Colin and Jack. He's been a great family member to many, many others. He's been a great friend to so many of you reading this (many of whom my family has never met)! I know that Rick Collins has made a difference. We have seen plenty of evidence of this during the last two and a half months: phone calls, cards, emails, donations, gifts, visits, hugs, smiles, tears, and mostly prayers.

It's amazing how God can use a man like Rick Collins to help make a difference in so many lives. We thank God for allowing and equipping Dad to do his ministry for the last 58 years!

Family...

Here's the last Collins family picture we took, which was a few (maybe four)years ago. Dad loves his family!!

Beautiful...

Here's a picture of Mom and Dad on one of their fun, exotic trips with Window World. Aren't they beautiful!

Waiting...

We now confront a new stage in this whole process, and that's the stage where we wait for Dad's earthly body to pass away and for his spirit to get to be in Heaven eternally. This is so hard to type and to express in words, but yet it is so encouraging and such a blessing to know that this will eventually happen.

Yesterday evening, around five o'clock, we stopped the use of IV fluids. This means that Dad is getting very, very minimal fluid and nutrition. And now we just wait. We wait and try to make Dad as comfortable as possible and as peaceful as possible and love him as much as we can.

The family is all around him and loving on him. Right now, his body is still somewhat healthy, so we don't know how long it will be, but we're encouraged that there is life after death and that that life is amazing, wonderful, glorious, and greater than we even know or that we can imagine.

We continue to read the cards, comments, encouraging passages, Psalms, etc. knowing that he can still hear us and that hearing these things comforts him that much more!

Love you all and thanks again for everything!! God bless!

Comfortable...

Dad's been back home for 3 days now and our main goal is to make him the most comfortable he can possibly be. We've got the dining room table moved down into the basement and the new hospital bed moved into the dining room. He's right by the window, so a lot of sunlight comes in during the day and brightens up the room. Dad stays in the bed all the time now, considering it's too hard to move him around and it makes it more uncomfortable and agitating for him to be moved.

Each day Dad eats less food (we were doing pudding, yogurt type foods) and less liquids by mouth. He, for now, is still hooked to IV fluids for hydration, but my family will have to decide when the right time is to take him off the fluids.

We don't think he's had too much pain this last week, but he does grimace every now and then and at times we feel he might be in pain. So, tonight we gave him his first dose of morphine (.2 ml- a pretty small dosage). We'll see how he handles this.

The last couple of days Dad has communicated pretty well with the family, but today, his communication was minimal. I did read ALL of the most recent cards to him, and I would ask him throughout if he wanted me to keep reading and he would give a slight nod of his head to tell me to keep going! I also read all the recent comments from here. I've also decided to read through some Psalms with him, hoping that they will be comforting and encouraging to him. We've placed a CD player in the room too, so he can listen to worship music, soothing music, etc.

OOh- how could I forget, today also was the PANCAKE BREAKFAST in honor of Dad. All proceeds from the breakfast went towards Dad's medical fund. The breakfast was held at Bethel Baptist, Mom and Dad's church in Salem. A great couple from their Sunday school class sat with Dad during this time so the whole family could attend the breakfast. I was blown away at the outpouring of love today! So many people came to contribute and share in the fun: members from Bethel, co-worker of our family, people from the community, past Bethel members (here's a shout out to Bob D.- thanks again for coming), and so many others. This was just one more testimony to how Dad has touched so many lives and is cared for by so many people! Praise God!

Thanks again to all of you!! We love you all!!

Hospice...

I know that the recent decision to participate in hospice care might have been somewhat of a surprise or shock to some of you, and I'm so incredibly sorry for that! Of course the decision to change our course for Dad was extremely difficult for the family and none of us want to lose him. But, given his current condition (only somewhat responsive, not eating or drinking much, mostly unaware of what is going on, significant growth of the tumor, etc.), hospice is what is best for him and, we believe, this is what Dad would want.

We aren't always able to get Dad to answer us or respond to us at all, but last night was a good night. Most of the family was around him, he ate a little bit, and was really taking to the conversation with him. My husband, Rex, was singing a silly song and I told Dad he could tell Rex to shut up, and Dad just laughed (more like a chuckle) and it was so great!

Rex also asked Dad last night if he was ready for Heaven, and Dad's response was, "everyday".

So, we met with the Good Samaritan Hospice social worker this morning to get everything set up and learn about their services. It was a nice meeting and very informative. The plan is that Dad will stay tonight, be discharged from the hospital sometime in the morning, and will come home! The hospital bed will arrive at the house in the morning and an administrative nurse will be there soon after to teach the family some things about taking care of Dad at home.

We really feel that this is best for Dad, even though it's pretty crappy for the rest of us! We know that he wouldn't want to be in the condition he's in and neither do we!

Feel free to send a comment on this site, or an email to me or Rex, or such and someone will make sure that it's read to Dad. We feel he takes a lot in that he hears even though we don't see that he's getting it. We've been reading the cards you send as well, and I know that he loves them! Keep them coming!

Keep praying that Dad stays comfortable, pain free, relaxed, and that he continues to feel the love from his friends and family and especially love from his Heavenly Father!

Thanks for everything!

New plan...

Yes, we have a new plan. We decided today to pursue hospice care instead of continuing and pursuing treatment. Dad has stayed in the hospital since Saturday morning and has been receiving fluids and his medication through IV. The health of his body is ok, but we found out the tumor had more than a slight increase in size, and instead had a significant increase in size.

Our doctor at Roanoke Memorial contacted our neuro-oncologist at Duke yesterday to seek her opinion about Dad's current condition and she recommended that we have an EEG test done to check and see if he was having seizure activity. That test was done this morning and the results later showed no seizure activity. We were actually hoping that some of the decrease in his condition would be due to seizures, but that didn't happen.

We also wanted to know if we continued treatment, what would Dad's quality of life be when all treatment is done. The doctor honestly didn't think he would be able to regain much of the abilities he had even a month earlier in this process. So...considering all of these things, we've decided to pursue hospice care.

We will meet with a local hospice representative tomorrow morning to review their services. The family has a lot to learn and we realize that hospice can provide Dad the much needed comfort and care he needs as we continue this process.

It's hard to come to grips with the possible death of a close family member, but we have to remember that God has a bigger plan and that plan includes only an earthly death. Dad eventually will be in heaven, a much better place. And we, as believers, will see him again! Oh, what a blessing and joy to know that this will happen! Praise God!

Thanks again to all of you for your continued support and love!! The Collins family is grateful and loves each of you!

Well...

Things this past week have been pretty rough.

On Monday, we visited our new doctor, Dr. Hutcheson. The appointment went pretty well and the family was encouraged to face the week.

Tuesday brought the successful CT scan, which was a blessing. Dad was sedated pretty heavily and ended up sleeping for the rest of the day.

We were thinking that Dad would be a little more aware on Wednesday, but he stayed out of it the whole day, not really eating well, drinking well, or talking a whole lot. It was today (I think) that he began having trouble swallowing his daily medication, so we began crushing his meds and putting them in chocolate pudding. Some of Dad's medications, though, aren't able to be crushed...one of those being his Temodar chemotherapy pills. We tried putting these in pudding, but he was able to swallow the pudding and spit out the pills. =(

It wasn't until Thursday that he told us that his throat was sore. So we called the local oncologist-on-call and she prescribed Nystatin, medication used to treat thrush (a common side effect from the steroid) in the mouth and throat. Dad swishing this in his mouth and then swallowing it seemed to help somewhat. After talking with a nurse at Duke, she suggested that we up his steroid in hopes that it would boost his spirits and make him more aware. We were hopeful that Friday would be a better day.

Friday brought the same difficulties for Dad. Most of the day proved to be similar to the rest of the week: eyes closed, sleeping most of the day, unaware, limited communication, etc. That afternoon though, after Dad ate some watermelon and pineapple (he's grown to really love fruit), we got a nice surprise when he perked up some and had a conversation with me. We discussed one of my students; it was such a blessing to have him make conversation, open his eyes up, and purposefully talk with me. Then, the new interim minister at Mom and Dad's church came to visit and this was another blessing. Dad talked with him, laughed, and even cried when discussion moved to how much his friends at church were missing him and praying for him. This hour was a great blessing!! The rest of the evening was a bit more downhill.

Saturday was a rough one. On Saturday morning, family tried to get him to cooperate to get cleaned up after the night, put some clean clothes on, get up out of bed, etc. Dad refused all of this. We became concerned that he would refuse food and fluids during the day as well, and with the week we had just been through, we were concerned that he was already dehydrated and such. So, the family decided to have him transported to Roanoke Memorial Hospital to be checked out. He ended up not being dehydrated, but IV fluids were given to help him out. The staff there, decided to keep him through the weekend to monitor him and he is there even tonight, Sunday.

We have some important meetings tomorrow: one with Dr. Hutcheson to consider and map out our plan from here, another with the social worker to look at options, and a possible third with a financial counselor. We have a lot of questions to answer and things to decide. Tomorrow will be a long day and honestly, I just don't know what we're going to do.

Dad is very "out of it", and unaware, and it's really hard to watch him in this state. Please pray that our conversations and appointments tomorrow are productive and helpful. We want the very best for Dad and figuring out what that is is proving to be the hardest part of this whole situation!

Thanks for lifting Dad up in prayer and for the constant support and love that you show to my family! The Collins family cherishes your friendships and loves you all!!!

Successful CT Scan...

Yes, it's true- Dad actually had a successful CT scan. This is the first completed, successful scan he's had since late December, and even though it's not an MRI, it will still show us what is going on with the tumor. The family adjusted his medication some Monday night and Tuesday morning to get him nice and calm for the scan, and then the hospital gave him IV Ativan to help get him really really calm. This worked great and he was asleep ("out cold") before the test even started. When the technician came out and asked us what we wanted her to do with him, (haha) we were baffled that the scan was completed and finished. Now, he was passed out for the rest of the day yesterday, and even today he seems more "out of it", but at least we get to see a new picture of his brain.

Thanks so much to all of you for your prayers, donations, and encouragement to my family during this time.

Big remaining questions (and prayer requests):

1. Has the tumor grown, stayed the same, shrunk :)?
2. Is our new doctor going to approve administration of the CPT-11 chemo?
3. Are we going to be able to get the reduced price of the CPT-11 and order it through our local pharmacy?
4. Will Dad be able to have his next treatment this coming Monday?

Please continue to pray for these things and Dad's overall health and spirit!! Love you all!!

A pretty good day...

For those of you who check the blog for updates frequently, I apologize for not posting in 4 days. The main reason for not posting was that not alot has changed these past few days; Dad's still been doing OK. Praise God!

Also for those of you who check the blog for updates frequently and remember reading about our experience with Dr. Richards, the Salem oncologist, last week,...today was a new day. We met with Dr. Hutcheson at Roanoke Memorial and discussed our wants and needs and how he could help us. We were encouraged to see that was willing to listen and help in whatever ways he could. This was especially refreshing given our experience last week!

We discussed our want to continue the CPT-11 treatments, knowing that insurance didn't cover it and knowing that we have to pay "out-of-pocket". He is willing to help us through that as well. He wasn't, though, completely sold on the idea of continuing the CPT-11, not knowing actual results of the Duke study, and made a call down to our neuro-oncologist at Duke to ask her thoughts on it. The fact that he cared enough to make this call was really nice =).

We learned last week that there was a chance to purchase the CPT-11 through a local pharmacy at a MUCH lower cost than before, and the Dr. is checking into this. He is hesitant and thinks that we will have to follow the hospital's "normal" way to order prescriptions (this has the potential to cost a bit more). He is willing to check into the process and help us out, again, in any way that he can.

I must say that I am encouraged by the doctor and know that I will feel let down if current plans don't go through (we've just had too many doors shut on us through this process). I'll cross my fingers and continue to pray that God remain in control of all of this!

Dad is still doing OK....not great.....but not awful. He's been visited by great friends and family, what a wonderful support system he has! As I've said before, Dad continues to praise God, tell his friends and family that he loves them, and state that he is the most blessed man in the world. He doesn't even realize how incredibly encouraging he has been to his caregivers and support system; he helps us continue this fight!

Thank you all for your prayers...please pray for Dad's CT scan tomorrow. We are praying that he can make it through the whole test and that it is successful! This will really tell us what all is going on with the tumor!

Dad loves all of you and is thankful for you (more than you know)!!! God bless!!

Doing OK...

Well, I must say that the last couple of days have been OK. Here's some things that have happened:

~ Home Health Care has come and done some assessments and has given some advice to help the family around the house
~ the Occupational Therapist came today to do an assessment and was extremely helpful; we hear the Physical Therapist will come soon for an initial visit (these are two areas we see Dad needing a lot of help in)
~ a lot of money as been donated to financially help us continue this fight
~ we got a new oncologist and have an appointment with him on Monday
~ we have lowered the daily dosage of Dad's anxiety medication in hopes that he becomes more "with it" and less "drugged"
~ Dad is seeming to be able to do some things more independently that we thought he had totally lost ability to do

~ and nonetheless, Dad continues to be thankful, hopeful, bright-eyed (in his own way), appreciative, loving, and faithful! And he has every right to feel these ways...he knows that our God is in control and that's all he has to know!

Keep praying!! =)

Road Blocks...

Yeah, so, it seems that we have another kink in our plan, another road block to go around. =(

Today started off wonderfully! Dad was surrounded by so many family members that loved him, he had a great morning around the house, and we even got him out of the house to head to the hospital OK (this was a concern for us since Dad's balance is off and he's a bit weaker in his legs- we ended up using the wheel chair with the help of strong guys). When we got to the hospital, Dad had his finger pricked so that they could check his blood counts (which is a weekly test). All is still good...

Then we met with Dr. Richards. He began by asking Dad how he's been feeling, did he have any mouth sores, how were the headaches, had he been able to get around the house at all, etc. We explained to him that we were a bit concerned that he was over medicated or that his medications were interacting kind of weird. The doctor let us know that we could adjust and "play around with" one in particular...everything still OK.

Then Dr. Richards mentioned that he thought that the CPT-11 could be covered through insurance if Dad were admitted to the hospital on outpatient status, instead of doing it through the clinic. We were a bit puzzled, given that we had been told insurance wouldn't cover it at all, and asked him if he was sure. He went to check and came back saying that he was mistaken and that the CPT-11 was not covered by insurance at all. OK, still fine- the family had already prepared themselves to have to pay out of pocket for the treatment (with help from wonderful donations).

BUT, then he let me know that because it's not covered, today's treatment would have to come out of HIS pocket. Then, he goes on to say that he would not recommend this chemotherapy and that he would not even use it for his own father due to the side effects. Hmm, that's funny, at last week's appointment and earlier in today's appointment the doctor was fine with the treatment, and now that he knows it's not covered by insurance, he doesn't recommend it?! Interesting!

So, we left there with him telling us he would recommend standard treatment (chemo. and radiation). Needless to say, we were a bit perturbed leaving the hospital today having had 0 treatment. Dad wasn't even given the chance to try the treatment again.

We are now sort of back to the drawing board, but are focused on continuing the best possible treatment for Dad.

After all of this turmoil and frustration, we go back to Mom and Dad's house and find out that WE HAD RECEIVED A DONATION THAT COULD BASICALLY COVER TODAY'S TREATMENT!!

God is so incredibly good and we know that HE is still in charge and that HIS plan is the ultimate!

Keep up the prayers and support! We love you all!

God is so Good...

This is a song that Dad sings almost everyday now and it is so great to hear. He continues to trust and worship our amazing God even in times that are so uncertain and hard.

God is so good

God is so good

God is so good

He's so good to me.

The days are getting harder and harder and Dad is needing more help with daily functioning. We hope to have an assessment completed on Monday by Home Health Care staff. This should help take some of the load off my family.

One thing that amazes me and puts a huge smile on my face is when we're helping Dad and he focuses his attention on the member of my family that's helping him and he says, with a huge grin and bright eyes, "You know I love you" or "I think you're wonderful" or a simple "Thank You". Wow!! How cool is that?

My dad is such a wonderful man and even though times are rough, he still loves his family and even more important he loves his God...and we know He is still in control!

Our Hope...

In reconsidering our plan of attack for Dad's treatment, especially after Monday and Tuesday of this week, we came to the understanding that we will not be able to participate in the clinical trial at Duke, but instead will be pursuing the same treatment "off protocol". The reason for going "off protocol" for the trial is mainly due to the fact that Dad just can't seem to make it through an MRI (and these tests are needed to meet criteria for the trial).

Another big change with being off the trial is that we are now responsible for paying for the chemotherapy, the CPT-11, which is very expensive and which was paid for by Duke when participating in the trial. This drug is not covered by insurance, even when used for the drug's main purpose- treating colon cancer.

So our hope is that Dad will be able to complete the first round of CPT-11 chemotherapy treatment and that we will be able to pay for the drug. If you would like to help financially please click the link below:

A Good Night & a Birthday Celebration

Last night the family celebrated Erin's Birthday and everyone enjoyed the time together. Rick was much calmer today and is on a new anti-anxiety medication, the name skips my mind right now. The side effect is that he has a lower energy level and sometimes his eyes glaze over, sort as if he just woke up. During the time I was visiting he was noticeably better both in his conversation and while eating dinner, this was wonderful to see. The evening before a whole slew of friends from Rick's church came over and visited, Erin tells me it was a really good time for Rick & the family!

I think Rick was caught off guard last night after we woke him from a nap and placed a piece of chocolate cake in front of him. When napping he has a hard time coming out of the sleepiness and evenings are generally more difficult than the days. But not to worry, Rick polished off the cake, icing and all.

Thanks for your calls, cards, gifts, emails, everything. To be honest dealing with this the past month has been overwhelming in a difficult way, but dealing with all of the support has been overwhelming in a most welcomed way.

This Past Summer

Rick awaits Erin's Wedding

This is one of my favorite pictures of Rick. He is awaiting his youngest daughter's wedding. You can get a sense of his thoughts through this Black & White photo.

Christmas Time

A picture of the family during Christmastime

Letter to Window World

Window World Family,

It's such a joy to know that I'm a part of such a wonderful organization. Thank you as a group for your support and prayers. You are the best group of people I've ever worked with. As many of you have heard, I've been diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumor and am currently seeking treatment at some of the best medical facilities in the country.

I'm looking forward to getting back to working with you again. We're hoping this is just a temporary setback and that I'd be back engaged in the business not too far in the distant future.

I cherish the friendships developed in my years at Window World. I love being around talent and there's talent in abundance here. We're learning a little more each day as wee see what the future holds. Please continue to keep myself and my family in your prayers. I look forward to the day when we can attack the challenge that is Window World again.

I thank you for the friendships I've made to date and I look forward to continuing these friendships for many years to come.

Sincerely,
Rick and Carol

A couple steps back...

Yesterday, Tuesday, proved to be a lot harder than we thought. The plan was to begin his chemo treatment of CPT-11 intravenously at Duke, but things didn't go quite like we thought.

I haven't written much about another huge part of this whole ordeal. There is a symptom/side effect of Dad's that is causing a lot of difficulty with current and future treatment options and even everyday living: the disorientation, confusion, irritation/agitation, and short-term memory loss. This change in personality (the listed things above) is mainly due to the location of his tumor in addition to the steroid medication (to reduce swelling in the brain) that he is taking. When all of those mesh together, sometimes the outcome is not pretty and it becomes difficult to have him perform a daily task, treatment option, etc. that could be very important.

After the complications yesterday at Duke, my family has had to take a couple steps back and begin to reevaluate my Dad's options overall. We met with a local oncologist this morning, Dr. Richards at Lewis-Gale, and basically just filled him in on Dad's situation and needs at this point.

Some of our biggest concerns are if Dad will be able to make it through the upcoming CT scan, another treatment of chemo. intravenously, etc. With his anxiety, disorientation, and such, we are having to weigh his need for the treatment with his quality of life. This coming week has the potential to be very difficult. If he continues to regress like he has these past couple weeks while we wait to start his chemotherapy this coming Tuesday, we will have to make some pretty hard decisions regarding the next step we take.

Right now, Dad is fine....home, fairly comfortable, somewhat relaxed, etc.

Thank you all again so much for your continued prayers, phone calls, emails, cards, and kind gestures. There is no way we can begin to thank you for all that you have done to this point. We are such a blessed family and are reminded of God's blessing and love for us because of your love!

HE is still in control!!

What a day...

Whew, what a day. It has been one of the hardest, most exhausting days I've experienced since the onset of this awful tumor.

The day started off with a try at Dad's 6th or 7th MRI. We got to the hospital at 6:45 am in hopes of getting started with the test not too long after 7:00. It wasn't until about 8:15 am that Dad got his injection of Valium through an IV. The medical staff and Mom tried for almost 2 hours to get him sedated enough to complete the MRI, but were unsuccessful.

We ended up heading to a different building of the hospital to meet with Dad's neuro-oncology doctors. During our hour meeting, the doctors laid out our treatment options. Without being able to go through with a successful MRI (which Dad would have to do every 6 weeks), we would not be able to participate in the clinical trial (we would not be able to follow the protocol for the trial). So, we discussed other options. With Dad's INTENSE claustrophobia, almost every treatment option calls for some sort of test/scan that possibly would push Dad to the limit with those specific fears: we wanted to have Dad totally put under full anesthesia for all MRIs but this seems to be out of the question (the doctors will not recommend it), CT scans are similar in nature but not as constrictive as an MRI (he still has a fear of this), and for radiation treatment (part of the standard treatment that is still an option) he would have to wear a mask on his face while completing the treatment.

He has such a fear of these tests (which made the day so incredibly hard) and because of this, figuring out the best treatment option is becoming so difficult. After much discussion today, with medical staff, through phone calls to family, and some prayer, we decided to follow the same treatment schedule as the clinical trial, but do it off-protocol. Since Dad can't get the MRIs done, the doctors are going to allow us to have and use CT scans instead. This sounds all well and good, but if Dad can't get through the CT scans, things will look more and more glum.

So... the plan is to head back over to Duke tomorrow morning and start the first treatment of CPT-11. Then, we'll meet with Dr. Richards, a Salem oncologist, on Wednesday morning. This will be our first consultation with him and he'll hopefully help us schedule a CT scan for sometime this week or next. This next CT scan (cross your fingers) will become the baseline scan as we start treatment to "kick this tumor's butt".

Please pray that the treatment in the morning goes smoothly and that Dad is able to make it through it. It's becoming so hard for him to be positive through this; he's extremely disoriented and can't focus at all. Please pray that Dad is able to complete the upcoming CT scan. Please pray that he regain some fighting attitude that it's going to take to beat this.

We remind ourselves daily that God is in control, that He loves us, and that we love each other. We will continue to be faithful; our God is extremely faithful and amazing!

Look for a new post tomorrow! We're hoping for the best!

January 28, 2006

Hello and Welcome! Thank you for checking out Rick Collins' new blog! This has definitely been a journey that none of us had expected, but we hope that the blog allows each of you to be informed and kept up to speed with each of the steps we take to fight and beat this terrible disease.

If you're reading this website, then you've probably heard that Rick has been diagnosed with an extremely aggressive brain tumor called a Grade 4 Glioblastoma. To give you some more details about Dad's tumor: it's located in the corpus callosum part of the brain and is called a "butterfly tumor" because the tumor looks like a butterfly, touching both hemispheres of the brain; and surgery cannot be performed due to the location of the tumor. Since the tumor cannot be removed, standard treatment was suggested, and for a tumor like Dad's, standard treatment would normally consist of radiation therapy plus a pill form of chemotherapy called Temador. You can check the links and other pages to hear the diagnosis for a tumor like this; it's pretty depressing.

After getting a first opinion diagnosis from the medical staff at the University of Virginia and a recommendation of standard treatment (mentioned above) , the Collins family decided to seek second and third opinions from Johns Hopkins and from Duke. Johns Hopkins' neurosurgeon took a look at the MRI and quickly agreed that the tumor was inoperable. It wasn't until last week that we heard from Duke.

We visited Durham earlier this week and Dad got to meet the medical staff. We had wanted to be as aggressive as possible (within limits of course) and after spending a couple of days at Duke we decided to participate in a clinical trial with them. Tomorrow, January 29, 2006, Dad will begin the clinical trial which consists of him taking two chemotherapy drugs: Temador (standard chemo.) and CPT-11 (Ironotecan). The hope with this treatment is that the double chemo will weaken and possibly shrink the tumor and will allow for radiation to be more affective. He will hopefully be completing three, six week cycles of this treatment and then will follow up with a cycle of radiation. The clinical trial is with Duke and you can check it out here.

My family knows that God is good and that He is faithful! Our hope and prayer is that He will heal Dad and make him new again. We pray that God will continue to be glorified, even as times are uncertain and scary. Dad wants so badly to praise Christ through this process and to lift Him up!

Please pray for healing and for His will to be done in Dad!

God Bless you all!!

Another update

Hello to all again. Some of you may have now heard the results from my Dad's biopsy on his tumor, others are you have not. Well, the results were not what we wanted to hear... grade 4 Glioblastoma in the cerebellum, too deep to operate on, a very aggressive tumor that is hard to treat. Prognosis for a tumor of this caliber, with the suggested radiation + chemotherapy, is 12-14 months. Yes....that stinks.

This past weekend and few weeks have really been a huge kink and turning point in my family's lives. And most likely, each of you know or have known someone that has had cancer or a possibly terminal illness and you know exactly how we feel!

So....what happens next? Well, UVA doctors have suggested, as I stated above, radiation and a chemo. in pill form called Temador. The radiation is looking like it will happen locally, in Salem or Roanoke. My parents have a consultation with the radiologists this coming Monday.
Is this the end-all-be-all (you might or might not be asking)? As of last night and today, we have been talking to Neurosurgeons and Neuro-oncologists at Johns Hopkins and Duke and will hopefully be getting their reactions and opinions after looking at Dad's medical records in the next couple days. I'm hoping we will maybe see one or both of them this week and will, at least, have other doctors giving their viewpoints of Dad's tumor and treatment (even if their opinions match what we've already been told). Everything we have read says to get second or even third opinions and that's what we're trying to do.

I can't thank each of you enough for your phone calls, emails, questions, hugs, tears, and especially prayers. God continues to be GOOD and I pray that no matter what, God continues to be glorified through this whole situation. It is so neat to hear my dad say that he wants to pray and Praise our heavenly father through this all! He wants God to be glorified more than anyone!

Please be praying for healing if that's in God's plan. Pray for a peace about sought after treatments. Pray for clear and open communication amongst my family (this at times is hard). Pray that no matter what, our focus continues to be on our amazing Savior!

I love all of you and appreciate all that you're doing for my dad and family! You are wonderful!

Love in Christ,
Erin and Rex